Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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