Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
