Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
