I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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