Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
