Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
