i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
