I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
