His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I want you more than these girls want KFC
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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