Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
