Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
