Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
