You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
