gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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