This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
