My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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