I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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