i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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