I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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