We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
