The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
