She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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