I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
