Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He did a backflip because drugs
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
