His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
