Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
