I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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