so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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