I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration