Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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