She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
