I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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