Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
she told me i tasted like america
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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