dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
