I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
