One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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