You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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