were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
