The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
The Olympian is in my bed
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize