why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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