Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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