Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
