so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
