My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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