So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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