she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
