What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
