You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS