I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I have already put on my inside pants.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day