so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
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I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
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She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick