he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?