rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize
