yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
