i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
So vagazzling was a success
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
