WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
