You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
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I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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