So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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