Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
