if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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