You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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