I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
