when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
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