hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
